Friday again ..Melonpop Drive goes bush!

Looking back over the week...   A little story about "Trust"...

A little girl and her mother were crossing a bridge.
The mother was kind of scared so she asked her little daughter:
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
The little girl said:
"No, Mum. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled Mum.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter
what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind,
but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you
love rather than expecting them to hold yours...

 What a strange old week this week has been.   Lots of weird stuff flying around in the ether.  Today is my last show here at 2bbb  until I return from Queensland from the protest site.  I shed a tear because I will miss doing this.   I have three days to go, then off to help Vee get organised and off we go!  I am going to tag along to help and support where possible.  Organizing a doof with Vee is going to be a huge experience I will love!  Meeting all the wonderful people who care like me will be great.  Lots of photos and interviews.

I feel sad about leaving and it isn't easy for me to go and perhaps this will be very good for me actually.  I will be amongst like minded people.  The most difficult part will be to trust that it will all still be here when I get back.  I am leaving my man and my dog and my cat to fight for our Earth so My Garden will be fine.  I hope.

Image by Mezza - Self out the window on the Bridge at Raleigh..

The best medicine in the world is a mothers hugs

The hardest part of leaving is remembering what you left behind.

 - unknown -

I never hugged my mumma until I was quite old and even then I really never got to see her at all.  I was kept away from my mother by an injustice in my family.  The awful part about this is I am living her life now and she died with a heart broken and really the situation isn't looking that good for me either.

Image by Mezza - Montana being the best mummy and she will be when it is real as well.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Alice Walker

Our country is in a mess on so many levels and it is not going to let up at this point and we will have a civil war on our hands and it will be synchonised with all of the other civil wars on the planet and then the planet will say screw you and regurgitate most of us off it.  Effective immediately.

 Heaven closed the door on another episode today.  Nerida was laid to rest at Urunga and it was a sad occasion for many.  It was just that sort of day really.  It was bitterly and windy.  It didn't let up and I was well tucked into my cave for the evening.  I want to hide from the government and I do not want them to take me away.  I think things are happening.  It is very bothersome to see all of this in my head at once and I see they are mobilizing now

Image by Mezza - The beautiful birds I was glad to witness with my own eyes in 2o12

a sad indictment of our societies as a collective.

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
Albert Einstein

I continually find the inequality in the world a sad indictment of our societies as a collective.  The societies that consider themselves to be first world countries.  It is so obvious that the greed to hang on to the large amounts of wealth is what is making me feel sick.   I struggle to keep what I have because in this world of people who are like me, I am considered inhumane and not worth it. 

These opinions of others that are unwarranted because I still don't know what I did wrong is reinforcing Edith's brainwashing.  She continually belted me daily while yelling at me, "I should have been drowned at birth".  I had awful nightmares  that I would be drowned and I would not be able to survive it.

Why is the world such a cruel place?   I just want to forget about these things.   Yet as it turns out, the more acceptable,  those who are the so called "movers and shakers", are the ones causing most of the damage.  These people make me out to be less than a human.   This damage is killing me more each time. 
ORLANDO, FL - JULY 12: Caylee Anthony memorial where the 2-year-old child remains were found on July 12, 2011 in Orlando, Florida. Casey Anthony was found not guilty of first-degree murder, aggravated manslaughter and aggravated child abuse. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)Slowly it is numbing me to the incidence that I have lost everything.  My children were all I ever wanted and I did not ever want this what I have.   I never dreamed for one moment that my life would be like this because I am so disabled emotionally.  I didnt even do this to myself and those that do it to them selves for fun are given the chances and the help and the extra goes.  This is what is playing on my mind.   It is because my mind is doing not much and left to continually think about the situation that I am in.  I really try to be brave and I do have friends but no one can do anything either.
I am so sick of being the burden, that people feel the need to bow their heads and walk past me quickly in hope that they do not have to speak to me at all!

Why is someone who needs so much help continually tortured and hurt so desperately in front of you all.   How does this happen.  Why do you all care when people have died.  They died because they felt like no one is listening and no one is listening and no one is helping and I can't do this much longer.  Today I am struggling with the inner pain again.  My psychologist says that I need to hate my mother and father for doing what they did.  I just don't know how to hate them,  I have no relationship with them to relate to.  That box is very empty and there is nothing in it.  Nothing to draw a feeling from.  The feeling is empty.

Image by Mezza -Firestation in Urunga on a job.

Earth Teach me caring as the mother who secures her young. Earth teach me courage as the tree which stands alone.

Earth teach me limitation
as the ant which crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom
as the eagle which soars in the sky.
Earth teach me resignation
as the leaves which die in the fall.
Earth teach me regeneration
as the seed which rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself
as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness
as dry fields weep in the rain.

Ute, North American

Hold On

Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.

A Pueblo Indian Prayer

Image by Mezza - Shiny happy waves at the sand mines near Urunga NSW

Search well and be wise, nor believe that self-willed pride will ever be better than good counsel.

Aeschylus..

First things come first.

It is a well visited place this one pictured above. Hungry Head is just down the road from Urunga.  It is the first headland south from the mouth of the river opening at Urunga.   The headland is certainly one of my favorite places to go and to look over the massive ocean laying on the Earth before me expanding as far as my eyes can see. 

I have seen whales from up here, Hungry Head is a great place to see these ocean sweethearts as they travel up the coastline in front of us on their special journey to mate and have  their babies somewhere in the vast oceans of the planet.

Lots of surfers come to here to check out the surf conditions as its a top view up and down the coast from here.

Image by Mezza - A swell discussion on the cliff.

Define Birthday?

Birthday is the only day you cry and you're mother smiles.

Birthdays are such fun.  Well they are supposed to be joyous occasions for everyone after that one.

Some families are like this sturdy tree

I am not sure my mother smiled the day I was born either.  My mother was filled with a sadness and despair when I was born and she was so confused emotionally.  Who knows what would have happened if things had been different all of those years ago.  I often wonder what it would be like to have lived with my brothers and sisters.  I wonder this often still.  On my birthday I think I think about this more.

Image by Mezza - Large tree down the road

In the early days I had a very black-and-white view of everything. Cat Stevens

Time and tide tend to change this view from time to time.

 I found it hard to believe that other people did not see what I see.  Other perspectives are many and varied.  Not everyone sees the suffering as suffering.  Some see this as necessary and the way things should be.  Others may think the adage " You cannot change the world alone".  I beg to differ here.

I don't subscribe to this view.  I believe; when we make any changes or even dance a single step let alone breath that we are influencing the entire world with our energy.  Same goes for everyone.  Think great thoughts for mankind and this earth and we will all  be a long way ahead of where we have been in the past.

Stop the slavery that everyone is in.  People think they are free but they are not free.  Debt has them sewn into a form of slavery.  One must remember they will never become wealthy doing something they detest doing.  Disliking something has its own energy vibration and its all negative therefore never reaping any positive benefits.

Today I will once again see it big in my head.  I will see Mandie well in her face area.  I will see my children gaining a revelation of the truth.

Image by Mezza - "Deployed" - Pacific Marina Coffs Harbour Jetty NSW

The Power of the World always works in circles

 

Have you noticed that everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round..... The Sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as   ours... Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.

~Black Elk, Oglala 

This cycle of living is something I know very well as I was forced by circumstance to follow my very own cycle so closely for a number of years and resorting to all sorts of magical and mystical things to try and right my energy balance with the world.  Funny all it took was to get madly pissed.  Something I had  purposefully stayed away from to help my chances of falling pregnant.  When I finished up with the IVF Program I went out and finally I got wasted and then I got pregnant.  Phenomenal. I actually went round in a complete circle and experienced the full gamut of it all from start to finish and finally I fell naturally and I delivered naturally as well.

Image by Mezza- A Majestic Dawn in Urunga

“In order to see birds it is necessary to become part of the silence” - Robert Wilson Lynd..

I stand there in the dawn alone.  No one else is around up there.  It is high and up where all the birds fly when they wake up and want to go and have something to eat as soon as they all stir and wake up.  It is a veritable menagerie up here at that time of the morning.

Sometimes it is actually so loud it can be a little disconcerting and you feel that surely they will crash into each other as birds of all species native to this area take flight.  The noise is very loud.  It only goes on for a short time before they all settle down to what ever they do for the day.  I think they wake up and the noise is all of them saying good morning to each other.

Anyway I love being around when this happens up here on the hill at dawn.  There is so much going on at once!


Image by Mezza - A flock of Ibis's off to breakfast in Urunga

I think I'm slightly impulsive, sometimes organised and always in search of a bargain! - Lisa Snowden

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Well what is going on up here on the hill?  I put this burst of organisation going on around me down to the fact that perhaps it is just the new month.  Perhaps that has made me feel I must tidy the loose ends and organise myself and my photos and start culling images in really big way. 
This began today with a tidy up of the Canon images into one folder on the terabyte ready to burn to DVD.  My we are getting organised.  But what is imperative is that I don't waste space.  I need to upload any awesome images to Flickr and seriously delete thousands of images.  Downloading is a problem, so over the next couple of days I am going to be going through them making a folder to upload to Flickr and dealing with the rest off line. 
Did you get caught by an April Fool's Joke this morning.  Typically the first of April is the morning for all sorts of pranks and tricks in order to catch the unwary off guard and cause a stir for a lark.  Good old fashioned fun.

So I spent all day doing some of this chore in between some other minor household and garden tasks.  Now I sit down with a bourbon and a desire to finish up with this for the evening before I go perfectly boggle eyed from looking at images up close.

The Urunga Dawn Begins April

This was my beautiful beginning to April 2012 up here on hill in Urunga.  It has been a beautiful day.  I discovered I have five passion fruit growing on my vine I grew from a cutting from a piece of vine I collected from a fence down the road.  I used some rooting powder and viola now we have amazing passion fruit growing.  We also have bananas and Strawberries and Rhubarb and Pineapples growing.

 

Image by Mezza - Dawn in Urunga begins April 2012 / Strawberries in Urunga

http://www.searchquotes.com/search/Organised/1/

Coronal Mass Ejection ... CME's from the Sun.

Waiting on the Sun

THE SUN showing ejections from Wikipedia

“If you get simple beauty and nought else, You get about the best thing God invents.”

Robert Browning

Yes! I tend to agree, when beauty like this makes you burst into tears because of the sight of the sheer beauty before your eyes you know in your spirit you have laid your eyes upon the very work of God as its happening.  The universe laid before us and the dawning around the clouds like as if it were a jewelled cloth of the most royal kind.

Do you really understand Infinity, It never ends.  ( Chance Waters)

All life began as a blank canvass in a void where the 'math dances in a figure 8
On the borders of infinity where divinity is simply fate and questions are answers
All was born in an instant  when an unresolved songwriters course as an infant
A bright light where  the end of the tunnel was the start of the road
and you blinked and you missed it
Before time had a name or life had a face /  when everybody shared that place
Before all that we know was let loose from its chains
Hand on his box cant be close to gain
Every particle of energy in me and you, love and hate and every eye we see it through
Every piece a part of me every key in harmony
has woken from the start of things and singing this tune

There is no justice, ( there is no justice),  there is only life and death. If that's all there is there is no substance and all we know is a lie at best..
There is no justice, there is only time and space and if that's all
there's no control and all that we see with our eyes is fake
Ours lives pass in the blink of an eye
with the twinkle of one glint of one star in the sky
We were born of dust and torn fragments..
Storm fronts and magma our hearts and minds
Now I don't know if there's a grand design
We plan to die soon but I'm not the  gambling type
With just one more stop for the hands of time
We here with a reason a man divine
If it all boils down to a collision of atoms
Can we act as if it matters if we black the sky's
If everything we do is just a stitch in the pattern...
Choice is an illusion in the map of our lives then
 I don't know if I can  stand to try to make sense of life if I  believe that's right
 I see it all around me Infinity surrounds me
What if I never found peace and I wasn't free to die
Lyrics from INFINITY  - CHANCE WATERS.... 2012


Do you really even understand Infinity / it never ends ..it never ends..

 Lyrics from INFINITY  - CHANCE WATERS.... 2012  ( defiantly the most awesome song of the year)

While I stood there on the hill and watched the dawn happen so beautifully,  these lyrics from the Infinity track by Chance Waters were in my head. This sight  absolutely moved me to tears while thinking and hearing this song in my head while watching the sky before me.  So much so, I felt it necessary to run home sobbing for Joy and feeling a little faint from being so overwhelmed.  That is quite hilarious to others I'm sure. 

That is what being an earth angel is all about, these things are totally guaranteed to touch our very souls where others may never notice at all.  Sometimes I feel sad for these ones because I think I see a piece of the city of heaven at dawn each day.  Awesome.

Image By Mezza - Dawn from the hill behind my house out the back looking east at URUNGA

Our Ancestors live on in me as yours live on in you. Jan Hawkins

“There is an order to things and I help to keep that order. I might be anyone of you really - I could be the person sitting beside you or the person you spend your life with. I could be you, only you would never know it because that is the order of things.

I am the one who whispers in your ear... We are all part of the past and a part of the future... Our Ancestors live on in me as yours live on in you... this... is my story and my world, and I would like to tell you about it so that we can all get on in this place together.”

Dawn in the colours of the YULUDARLA ( dreaming)

If that got you intrigued there is plenty more of where that come from in the entire book as that my friends is what you call excerpt.  It was just a tiny bit to wet your whistle!
You can purchase this book online through Amazon Books  and its by Jan Hawkins. 

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/130660142875?ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&_trksid=p3984.m1558.l2649

To my children and interested others: I too am the piece of a piece of the ancients. A piece of me is in all of you!  A piece of me will be in all of your children.  There is something strange and unyieldingly fair about this reality.  It doesn't matter how much you dislike me or who I am I will be in your children no matter what unless you decide to adopt.

I am the child of the child  of the child of the person who was known as a legendary horsewoman in her time and she rode on until she was in her late 70's.  Horses were her friends.  Christina Flint was a woman to be held up like this and she is also your ancestor because a part of her is contained in me and all of that genetic memory is passed on to us all.

It is amazing to think of the possibilities of this sort of thinking indeed.  Perhaps when you sing or when you ride or race or if your tough in your fight to survive this life,  it doesn't occurr to your that your fighting a fight that may well have been fought before and you already have the answers you need inside of you.  They are contained in the cells of your make up.  I don't mean the pretty colored stuff girls wear!  The genetic memory in our family is very very strong.  I am aware of this and I get messages regularly from them in my spirit.

embrace this part inside of yourself as it is there for a reason.  It is there to protect you and help keep you and it is the part that God intended you to keep!  He doesn't want you to live in the past but merely to embrace that part of your past that has brought about your creation of being. With out a past  you would not have come.  There would be no YOU!  YOU would not exist as you are now.  YOU would be someone else not you.  That is a lot to think about isn't it.


Image by Mezza - Yuludarla - Dreaming colours

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RED SKY for a short time at dawn.

I promised I would not go at dawn without the tripod and see I was totally rewarded because I can't take this image without one as its physically impossible for me to hold it still that long.

So the day started off beautiful and Montana is arriving this afternoon to stay the evening so I must not waste time today looking at pretty images making my eyes tired.

Image by Mezza - Dawn on the two rivers running in Urunga NSW

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.

quote by Francois Mauriac

Fishing the river at Dawn

Everyone we meet or come across in our lives are the ones who help shape us as individuals during our journey of life.  If mud is thrown a little bit always sticks they say.  So even bad friendship leaves its mark on us and sometimes this is for a lifetime.

Men fishing with each other at Dawn in Urunga

 We are stereotyped into being a particular sort of person and it is difficult to break out of that.  In my opinion the difficulty lies with others though and not ourselves as its the others who want to keep us in the neat box they have placed us.  When we break out of the box things can be messy.  They can also be very exciting and liberating to the spirit.

For today, do something different and break out of the mould that others have you placed in and show them there are many sides to being a human being and that settling for just one is in fact boring.

Image by Mezza - Dawn fishing at Urunga March 2012

Deep unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state. - George Eliot

Yaanagay,  yagay!    ( Gumbaynggirr)...... Here you are, Here it is!

 The exquisite colours of dawn..

These beautiful colours come at a price because I can assure you that the Midgees are absolutely lethal at this time of the morning.  They do not respond to the Aerogard and now I wear as much clothing as possible and sometimes that means its hot.  I think better to be a little hot and capture these images, than to be bitten and be jumping around like a real fool.

I let nature be the singer and I just listen to the song, biding my time in the dawn's early light.  What a massive sight this morning was.

Image by Mezza - Dawns palette of colour at Urunga 1st of Autumn and her colours.

Gilayjal Miirlarl - High tide SACRED PLACE...

Yurruun.ga

Gilayjal  Miirlarl at dawn low tide.

Every day I feel blessed living here in this place where we are. The High Tide Sacred Place ...It is so full of the dreaming here.  Uncle Toms ancestors were amazing people.  Uncle Tom is turning 88 in April and he is so old and he knows the stories.  I am so glad of the circumstance no matter how painful this birthing is of what ever is being birthed inside of me.  It is a very strong action occurring in my spirit.  It is exciting.

What is sad about today is that Julia Gillard our PM has cancelled Julian Assange's Australian passport.  I am incredibly disillusioned by all of the circumstances around this given that Julian put his neck on the line for all of us on the planet and then how can we let him languish alone somewhere being bullied by governments.. I just feel very saddened by this.

How can they preach LOVE and fight each other holding guns.. we are all equal yet they push synthetic separation..    
Every dawn is a new day to make a change ...........BLISS N ESO..  Running on Air

 .......................and the moon is going into Gemini today so its my time to ignite..



Image by Mezza - Dawn about to happen on the Last DAY OF SUMMER  29th February 2012 Urunga

“I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from "Thank God it's Friday" to "Thank God it's Monday." If any working mother has not experienced that feeling, her children are not adolescent.” Ann Diehl

Garbage Morning

A STICK STUCK

 It was something and I wanted to know what the hell it was so I got all the way out there to look!  It was a stick.  A curly stick that someone had just stuck into the middle of the old rotting pier post. If I was tall enough I would have taken the curly stick out of the thing because it isn't supposed to be there.

What a lovely day today is already.  No tears and lots of clear thinking.  Today Montana comes again to stay with me.  Yay it is Monday at last. 

 I feel that she gets a lot of flack for hanging out at all with me.  I don't want to be Montana's friend .... so much as I want to be her mother and being a mother to her is important to me.  The other  two children  are jealous!   I would say this as this is how it was. 

I continue to say that Montana  restored my faith in humanity.  Which she did entirely .  Jesse was so active as a child and full on.  Matilda was hard core and throwing tantrums at every turn and then came Montana who wanted to read and sing and learn and love. 

It was a dream come true.  Guess the others prefer Johns company.  Montana always preferred my company.  She loved me so much.  Once,  once she loved me like no one else had ever loved me,  it was the sweetest thing I have ever known.  Sweeter than any sugar known to man.  Her love was the purest love there was and I could feel it.  I loved her love and we loved each other so much!  She would play word games with me and I called her " Little Bum"  and I have called her "Lamb Tart" and I have called her just "Tart" for short.  We had to stop that one as it was coming out in public places and people were looking quite strange at a mother who called her daughter 'Tart. 

These days its harder as now her sister won't allow her to even have a radio show with me with out interrupting her and asking her to leave!  She promised me and her listeners on air that she would stay the entire 2 hours next week.  She realizes what they are doing and they will be sad in the end because it is wrong!

Today and just for today I will be happy and I will enjoy this time we have together as time will not last forever and I know this now!  I want to enjoy Montana while I still have some time!

Image by Mezza - Stick in the Pier at Urunga NSW 2012

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

So above all, continue to do the things that you enjoy and love as you get older and older as that is the thing that keeps you alive.  Food has a little to do with it but really one must be happy and have a desire to live.  If one loses the desire to laugh and then to live then life is snuffed out and the universe cannot help but reply and death can ensue!

I like to do things that make me feel alive and kicking like standing in the freezing waters at dawn taking photographs.  I probably would have loved to have studied this sort of art at college. 

I do wish I had been born to people who enjoyed education and learning.  To be born and have to live with people who would not allow you to do your homework was difficult to keep up the charade of perfectness that I wanted to convey as a child was terribly important to me because I was already living such an imperfect life compared to others.  The pressure was horrendous

I could have studied in my adult years but I chose a life partner who always made fun of the fact that I am very very clever.  He prefers to tell people the exact opposite these days and they prefer to believe him.  I am in fact still studying and I learn amazing stuff daily and I love to teach Montana.

Images and Design by Mezza- Urunga NSW