a sad indictment of our societies as a collective.

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
Albert Einstein

I continually find the inequality in the world a sad indictment of our societies as a collective.  The societies that consider themselves to be first world countries.  It is so obvious that the greed to hang on to the large amounts of wealth is what is making me feel sick.   I struggle to keep what I have because in this world of people who are like me, I am considered inhumane and not worth it. 

These opinions of others that are unwarranted because I still don't know what I did wrong is reinforcing Edith's brainwashing.  She continually belted me daily while yelling at me, "I should have been drowned at birth".  I had awful nightmares  that I would be drowned and I would not be able to survive it.

Why is the world such a cruel place?   I just want to forget about these things.   Yet as it turns out, the more acceptable,  those who are the so called "movers and shakers", are the ones causing most of the damage.  These people make me out to be less than a human.   This damage is killing me more each time. 
ORLANDO, FL - JULY 12: Caylee Anthony memorial where the 2-year-old child remains were found on July 12, 2011 in Orlando, Florida. Casey Anthony was found not guilty of first-degree murder, aggravated manslaughter and aggravated child abuse. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)Slowly it is numbing me to the incidence that I have lost everything.  My children were all I ever wanted and I did not ever want this what I have.   I never dreamed for one moment that my life would be like this because I am so disabled emotionally.  I didnt even do this to myself and those that do it to them selves for fun are given the chances and the help and the extra goes.  This is what is playing on my mind.   It is because my mind is doing not much and left to continually think about the situation that I am in.  I really try to be brave and I do have friends but no one can do anything either.
I am so sick of being the burden, that people feel the need to bow their heads and walk past me quickly in hope that they do not have to speak to me at all!

Why is someone who needs so much help continually tortured and hurt so desperately in front of you all.   How does this happen.  Why do you all care when people have died.  They died because they felt like no one is listening and no one is listening and no one is helping and I can't do this much longer.  Today I am struggling with the inner pain again.  My psychologist says that I need to hate my mother and father for doing what they did.  I just don't know how to hate them,  I have no relationship with them to relate to.  That box is very empty and there is nothing in it.  Nothing to draw a feeling from.  The feeling is empty.

Image by Mezza -Firestation in Urunga on a job.

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”

Victor Hugo
Cheer up it is only the first day of Winter.  I love Winter so it is fine with me.  I have a hot water bottle.

Grasses at Sunset

The first day of Winter means that tomorrow is my birthday.  Funny enough this never seems to change.  I like the first of June because Marilyn Monroe was born this day and I always seem to be reminded of this.  There are many Marilyn quotes of hers I like.  If you can't handle me at my worst etc being my most favored of these.
Happy Winter 2012.

Image by Mezza - Grasses in the evening sun

Skip the surgery and fall in love.

 "Everything flows, out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates." — The Kybalion.

We have had the pleasure of a full moon in Libra this time and its a young moon and it is getting bigger again.  Friday was lovely / Saturday morning in the west was spectacular and last night was amazing.

When the Moon is in Libra, the desire for harmony, tact, justice, relationship with people, balance, impartiality, partnership increase. I was so balanced in my hunt for this shot. I was organised with times equipment and places. I had covered myself with some repellent this time because it was such a special moon.   Indeed we were not disappointed.

This was our gift for ISHTAR / the moon excites me like the sun and in doing so I am very childlike before such entities and I know in my heart that we are beings of light.  We are here on this Earth plane for a season.  There are many seasons in a lifetime of forever. 

Image by Mezza - Full Moon on the Saturday night.  Rising at 5.46pm

Looking at a sunset, just for a second you forget your separateness....

You are the sunset. That is the moment when you feel the beauty of it. But the moment you say that it is a beautiful sunset, you are no longer feeling it; you have come back to your separate, enclosed entity of the ego.

AN OUTSTANDING PINK SUNSET in URUNGA

Now the mind is speaking. And this is one of the mysteries, "That the mind can speak, and knows nothing; and the heart knows everything, and cannot speak".

- OSHO

For me, this is a very special piece of wisdom.  Something that will change the way I look at things from here on in.  

I remember every sunset and I remember every word you said. And I will be there in a heartbeat.  My soul is broken and streets are frozen ....  some special words from a song by Simple Plan... Paradise.

Image By Mezza - Urunga