“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

George Bernard Shaw

What is in that window?

We are all given a measure, pressed down, shaken and overflowing.  The measure is birth.  Pressed down is the learning we do while we live. Shaken is what happens to us as we live and experience life. Finally, overflowing is what happens to us when love is the frequency of our very existence.

Each day we have the opportunity to make the very best of this day.  Each day we can window shop on life and take it all in and choose just for today.  Today I will make the best of this day and live it to the fullest according to what is predestined inside of me.  In my DNA I have the capacity to grow.  I will endeavor to correct the vibration just for today, tomorrow will take care of itself and yesterdays raucous off key tunes are over. 

Listen to the heartbeat of the earth for she has a vibration of around 7htz.  It is a continuous pulse just as we pulse.  This pulse is our vibration.  I will continue to go before the sun in the mornings with an expectant heart and ask for my singing voice to return to me.

Image by Mezza - What is in the window (see more images @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/melonpopzdropz/7284499546/)

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

Image by Fouquier via Flickr

Happy Birthday to our youngest child.  Montana has turned 16 years old.  She is in year 11 at Bellingen Public High School and she has a boyfriend and his name is Anaan and he just had his birthday as well and he is 17 now. 

Montana and I have always had fun together, I felt like I had a playmate finally when she came along. Oh that is a healthy outlook isn't it, Not.  We are here to be their parents not their friends or so the saying goes.  I just wanted a playmate that would not judge me and I could grow up accordingly.  Yes... if you are thinking there is something wrong with this statement then you are correct.  Adults are supposed to have already grown up past this point.

There is a direct correlation between living in institutional care and being held back emotionally.  The adult then has the emotions of a child and needs to complete the proper psycho social tasks in order to be complete in their psyche. I just wanted to know how to play.  I never ever learned how to play.  Play is the serious business of learning to a child.

http://www.fordefoundation.org.au/links.html

Image via Flickr

Serious Weather ahead ..

There has been some amazing C.M.E.'s coming off of the sun in the last couple of days signalling wild weather ahead.  The B.O.M. today released a serious weather warning detailing this in our part of the world.  In other parts of the world they are experiencing earthquakes and strange weather occurrences.  This Space weather correlation is a very dynamic and spot on technique for weather prediction and it has so many uses.  Makes me wonder why the Meteorologists don't use this method for prediction.

Last nights full moon was beautiful looking out of my back door.  It was cold and I had the door wide open, who cares about freezing when this beauty is staring down into your house as you cook dinner.

Images by Mezza- Full moon 4th June 2012 / A Sagittarius full moon.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

   SRI CHIMNOY GHOSE



This  morning, a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse occurs. Lunar Eclipses are about relationships and polarities. With the Gemini-Sagittarius axis involved, this Lunar Eclipse presses us to look more closely at our needs, lacks, and wants in our lives concerning the balance between Gemini-ruled and Sagittarius ruled areas of life.
It occurred to me that it is paramount to stop these wars.  War is so childish and immature.   People can be so brutal to each other.   I just don't understand the anomaly of not bullying at school but it is alright for our so called leaders to participate in bully activities in front of us and our children. 



Image by Mezza - The heart shape on ULURU Central Australia

US Senate declares the entire USA to be a "Battleground".

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-711747

A few battles would have been fought in this spot in ancient times - Urunga's foreshore

The USA Government has gone mad completely and it is so visible to most of the people of this planet that America and the so called super power it says that it is, is now teetering on absolute disaster in many ways.

Flag of the United States of America (Photo credit: Wikipedia)The fiscal system and the legal and political systems are rife with inconsistency  and it is more than obvious that their laws are not fair and not about looking after this planet.  The stuff that pours out of America is old hat.  They are stuck in a time of raping and pillaging the earth and this is considered not to be things are done by a considerable amount of people on this planet now. 

A consciousness regarding the rich and the poor division is as high as it is going to get.  There are so many of us who are not happy the Vatican could feed the poor and that America could put down its war toys.
Nature will hurtle back with a vengeance at this behavior of the countries who have stripped the ancestors of their children's rights

The Earth seen from Apollo 17. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Grandfather sky and Grandmother Earth are one and the same.  The respond intimately to each other and to each others cries for help.  This is as symbiotic as it gets.  As above, so below is always the same.  There is nothing new under the sun.


http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112s1867pcs/pdf/BILLS-112s1867pcs.pdf






Image by Mezza - Urunga in the evening in the foreshore car park

Define Birthday?

Birthday is the only day you cry and you're mother smiles.

Birthdays are such fun.  Well they are supposed to be joyous occasions for everyone after that one.

Some families are like this sturdy tree

I am not sure my mother smiled the day I was born either.  My mother was filled with a sadness and despair when I was born and she was so confused emotionally.  Who knows what would have happened if things had been different all of those years ago.  I often wonder what it would be like to have lived with my brothers and sisters.  I wonder this often still.  On my birthday I think I think about this more.

Image by Mezza - Large tree down the road

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”

Victor Hugo
Cheer up it is only the first day of Winter.  I love Winter so it is fine with me.  I have a hot water bottle.

Grasses at Sunset

The first day of Winter means that tomorrow is my birthday.  Funny enough this never seems to change.  I like the first of June because Marilyn Monroe was born this day and I always seem to be reminded of this.  There are many Marilyn quotes of hers I like.  If you can't handle me at my worst etc being my most favored of these.
Happy Winter 2012.

Image by Mezza - Grasses in the evening sun

We call upon the waters that rim the earth, horizon to horizon, that flow in our rivers and streams, that fall upon our gardens and fields, and we ask that they teach us and show us the way.

Native American Chinook Blessing Litany.  The Chinook Tribes are a small family of Indians inhabiting the lower Columbia River in Washington and Oregon in North America.

Kalang River and Bellingen at Dusk in Urunga

Water has a memory.  It remembers where it is going and where it has been.  If there is anything magical on this planet then it has to be the substance water.  It is what our bodies are largely composed of as well. 

We become very sick if we become dehydrated.  We need water to survive.  The fishes and ocean dwellers need water as well.  We must look after the oceans and the rivers of our planet.  The life blood of her very existence is carried by the waters of the Earth.

When I was at Uluru, my lips felt swollen the entire time.  I thought this could be attributed to me being in a slightly dehydrated state as a norm.  I drank furiously while I was out there in Central Australia but to no avail at making my lips feel any better.  They felt quite fat. 

As soon as I was back in Sydney the feeling disappeared.  I think I  made a correct diagnosis.  The heat out at the rock is probably responsible for this as it is a dry heat and it draws hard down on you.   They constantly warn you to drink masses of water while you are there.  I did my best.

Image by Mezza - The Kalang and Bellinger flowing out near Urunga under darkness

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water.

This quote about water is from Loran Eisley, The Immense Journey, 1957.

An annoying woman is like this tap below. Well that is what the bible quotes she is. As annoying as a dripping tap. Gee I was really interested to find they had taps let alone ones that dripped and annoyed in biblical times. Hectic. I suppose it is allegorical.


Image by Mezza - A dripping tap at the waters edge in Urunga

It’s better to have never felt the happiness of love than to be tortured by the pain of it ending. ~ Mike ~

It is always colder nearer to the waters edge. It never stops us from going there though. The chill from the cold can be rugged up against. The heat of a heat wave is another matter entirely. Heat can suck you dry and leave you begging for mercy. Coldness can hurt like you're body is going to break. None of this is  bad or good . It is all just weather or in reference to the temperature of persons heart.

Sunset on the water is cold in May

Its good news week, no not the show!  This week has been a week of great news. Well not necessarily great either as in good but great as in big news. I just should come out with it.   My children's father is getting re-married.

He is getting married to have sex. This story is now widely known to all in the area. He attends church again and you cannot have sex before marriage.  It's rumoured he  tells his kids to talk to me. I find this almost impossible to believe . Why don't they talk to me?  I sent him a letter when he moved in with Robyn to the effect of how we could parent our children from different places and successfully.  It was his choice not to read this.  His choice to cause the friction he has and his choice now to wear the Karma of this little fruitless exercise.

He won't get away with it.   The Karma for this one is going to come down hard and it will bite rougher than any of us wanted it to bite. I need to say this now as I can feel what is about to come to pass. Matilda, the dear little thing is so happy about the wedding to the crooked doctor's ex wife. Makes me very curious as to how do these people get to be so good at being parents and even better at being parents to others children.  Especially children that are so missed by their mother it causes her much angst.  God loves a mother to feel angst.  NOT!  that is the Karma I speak of.

I think all of this is funny in a very peculiar way. Poor Robyn from the IGA in Bellingen, his ex after his marriage to me is now considered the bitch. Well,  I can only imagine what names they saddle me with if she is considered the bitch from hell. I must be the bitch of the UNIVERSE. Well where is my sash?
This quote first reminded me of my son and how much I do miss him in my life.  I get on with this though as there isn't any way to let them know that I love them.

Image by Mezza - A cold evening near the water at Urunga Lagoon

In the early days I had a very black-and-white view of everything. Cat Stevens

Time and tide tend to change this view from time to time.

 I found it hard to believe that other people did not see what I see.  Other perspectives are many and varied.  Not everyone sees the suffering as suffering.  Some see this as necessary and the way things should be.  Others may think the adage " You cannot change the world alone".  I beg to differ here.

I don't subscribe to this view.  I believe; when we make any changes or even dance a single step let alone breath that we are influencing the entire world with our energy.  Same goes for everyone.  Think great thoughts for mankind and this earth and we will all  be a long way ahead of where we have been in the past.

Stop the slavery that everyone is in.  People think they are free but they are not free.  Debt has them sewn into a form of slavery.  One must remember they will never become wealthy doing something they detest doing.  Disliking something has its own energy vibration and its all negative therefore never reaping any positive benefits.

Today I will once again see it big in my head.  I will see Mandie well in her face area.  I will see my children gaining a revelation of the truth.

Image by Mezza - "Deployed" - Pacific Marina Coffs Harbour Jetty NSW

Every step you take should be a prayer. And if every step you take is a prayer, then you will always be walking in a sacred manner.

-Black Elk -Lakota

Myself at Yulara doing the EMU Dance

 When you're body is engaged in any sort of movement is could be deemed as a prayer or a spiritual expression.  It is very healthy.  Contained in the DNA of our bodies lies the answers to the universe and beyond.  Our DNA holds all of the clues because it holds the original information in the encoding.  The human body being a temple then carrying ancient wisdom and knowledge.

The Roman religious wars were adamant about getting rid of people who were found to be utilizing and practicing any of the ancient knowledge that is rightfully made available to all humanity.  This is why  anyone who was found  practicing was labelled a "witch", and subsequently burnt at the stake.   There goes masses of herbal knowledge of plants right there in one foul swoop.

It was known as heresy to go against the Catholic Church and its directives.  The Holy Catholic See at the Vatican became quite swiftly the most powerful force on the planet.  Brainwashing the next generation with a completely manipulated story based on Hermetic wisdom. 

If the Vatican could rid us of our personal power we would eventually be powerless.   With the advent of reading and writing across the masses, people were tricked blindly into believing this fabrication.  If you believed the fabricated story taken from ancient scriptures you were deemed spiritual and the love for God and  Creation became something very different.   The Catholic Church has many  ridiculous and outlandish ceremonies that have been laid down by the Vatican to be practiced as Catholic law..

The most colorful of these manipulations of the word of God must be the riotous act of asking families for cash money to pray a persons soul out of purgatory and into heaven where they would rest in peace eternally.  Because peoples personal power had become so eroded there was a wide spread acceptance of this lunacy. It is complete nonsense.  The pope is not the only person who can "TALK" to God either.   We are all capable of communicating with nature but we have just got to pull it from whence it was stored - In our DNA!

Image by Mezza- Woman walking at Yulara NT

Management of sleep disturbances that are secondary to mental, medical, or substance abuse disorders should focus on the underlying conditions

Bring me my bed.  I am tired already and its only Saturday morning.  I went to bed late last night around 1:00 am in order to sleep to a more sociable time and instead I still woke up at the usual 4am time.  Three hours in my bed if that. I regularly only ever sleep five hours so I may need to find those couple later on somewhere.

When I was a tiny child I never slept well then either.   Because of this affliction  I got the nick name "Cinderella",  which was conveniently shortened to Cindy by Edith.

This name for me suited her very well as she had such a hard time even saying my mothers name which was  Ellen. My name is part of her name and she just couldn't say it. Kay said she called me all sorts of things until "Cindy" was settled upon.

Many people still call me Cindy.  A couple of people even have this name (attributed to me) tattooed on their bodies as Cindy.  My very good friend Rosey has my name on her wrist.  I had her's and I am going to get it put back now.  By order of Montana and Rosey.

Image by Mezza - Dawn over the Pilot House in Urunga

We live in a hologram

The earth and all that is in it is a hologram just like the holograms projected onto the Opera House.  On Earth we are a microcosm of the macrocosm.  We are everything that the universe is made up of.  We are only tiny and the universe is without number at this point but we are one and the same.

I wonder if the same principal of achieving a holographic image is how we got here on Earth?

I do believe that we are beings of light.  We are slowed down to a solid by magnetism and gravity.  If we were not subject to these influences we would appear as very different beings.

Holographic laser light shows can split a single Solid State (DPSS) laser beam by passing the beam through a passive diffract holographic optical element, which in turn passes through a circular periodicity electromechanical spinning wheel. This spinning disk splits the laser beam into over 1 million individual beams. Diffract holographic optical elements work by breaking up the incoming wave of light which recombine to form numerous new light waves.

 Sydney Vivid Festival 2011. (Photo credit: jemasmith)

Sydney's annual Vivid Festival has opened with a series of spectacular light displays on many of the city's iconic buildings.

English: Sydney Opera House Luminous @ Vivid festival (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Now in its fourth year, the event features over 50 light installations, including a display on the 'sails' of the Sydney Opera House.

The opera house stands on Bennelong Point in Sydney on the edge of the where the city now stands.  This was once a great place for lunch if you were an aboriginal person from the surrounding clans of the area.

In the period from 1818 to 1821, the tidal area between Bennelong Island and the mainland was filled with rocks excavated from the Bennelong Point peninsula. The entire area was leveled to create a low platform and to provide suitable stone for the construction of Fort Macquarie. While the fort was being built, a large portion of the rocky escarpment at Bennelong Point was also cut away to allow a road to be built around the point from Sydney Cove to Farm Cove. This was known as Tarpeian Way.

The existence of the original tidal island and its rubble fill were largely forgotten until the late 1950s when both were rediscovered during the excavations related to the construction of the Sydney Opera House. Prior to the Opera House's construction, Bennelong Point had housed Fort Macquarie Tram Depot.

Images all from Zemanta this time.
 Related articles

• Vivid Sydney, 25 May - 11 Jun

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• Vivid Sydney in Australia: 4th Annual Festival of Light, Music and Ideas

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• Sydney Opera House - Masterpiece of Human Creative Genius

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• VIVID set to spotlight Sydney (thetravelmaverick.com)

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. Mother Teresa

Today I spoke to the Forde Foundation in Queensland.  This foundation is part of the Department of Communities.  A part of the department set aside for the forgotten Australian's who were brought up in care in Queensland's notorious children's homes.  Awful places where children were treated more like animals and not children.  I spent many years in care.  I spent my entire teen years in care.  This was hell.  I hated it so much and I was so lonely and this is where I developed a lot of the present fears I am still saddled with today.

It took a little while to find my way around through the bureaucracy of it all and it wasn't easy not being able to call out of this area on my home telephone.  With the help of Campbell from Andrew Fraser's office in Coffs Harbour.

He did some checking up and I rang the number I was given.  A very cheery lass called Nicky answered and she was helpful but she had to tell me that the time for compensation was over.  However the foundation has many other ways in which it can help me out.  There are grants for study and for health and various other needs.  They have added my name to the mailing list and I won't be forgotten in the future.

I felt very sad this afternoon.  I never felt so resentful of a bunch of people than I did of my brothers and sisters this afternoon.  They took it upon themselves to leave me out and to not tell me anything about this process while they all took advantage of this accept for one of my brother's.  My brother Zane wanted no part of this.  He isn't off the hook completely as he or his partner Jacqui could have contacted me and told me about this so as to at least give me the opportunity for myself.  It was obvious that the government had unleashed this clumsy band aid  upon the unsuspecting target group, so unsuspecting that someone like me would miss an opportunity to address the Queensland parliament or to have my story heard and to have received compensation for the pain and suffering that has been on going in my life to date .
The kind of pain and suffering that is not visible to most other than the blank stares I may have at times or the inability to know what to do in certain situations, most don't know because they don't see me.  They don't know about the nightmares or the fears or the feelings of running or hiding. 

I hope when the Forde Foundation send this initial package that there are some contacts where I can access some help in being able to communicate with my children again in a safe place.  My two older children just think I am mad and don't understand the capacity of  which I was physically and emotionally abused.

The ladies on the phone were very understandable about my situation.  They were  more helpful when I told them that I had my Certificate IV Community Services Welfare.  I said that I felt I was qualified in this area, they both understood when I said that now I am well over qualified to work in this field and they agreed.  Not in a helping capacity, but I would be very helpful in a clerical role in the same field.

I want to  have an opportunity of having a real go at life.  Being with John for so many years was hard as he ate up our opportunity years with useless gambling.  His drinking was an issue but I didn't eat the money the way gambling did.  After all there is only so much he could drink before he was useless to the world.  I resent this happening and I have to some how heal these resentments.

The best way to heal resentments is to overcome them with an even bigger success.  That would be novel.

http://www.searchquotes.com/quotes/author/Mother_Teresa/
Image by Mezza -  Plants on the bank at dawn in Urunga

Let the birthday season begin...

On the hill today it was a day for celebrations.  Brice turned 46.  We made this special cake with his name on it and  he said he had never had a cake with his name on it before.
A couple of days ago it was Anaan's 17th Birthday and now Bricee's and then mine and Montana's birthday.  So you see it is a season of birthdays not to mention the many Gemini's as friends we all have.

I covered this Cup of Coffee cake with Dark Chocolate Ganache.  It was delicious but when I went to move it I broke a piece off the side.  I had to stick that piece back on the side.  It didn't matter because it still tasted brilliant.

I enjoyed making this cake for Brice.  It was a present for him from me and I made it myself.  I haven't done many cakes lately and it shows.  I was as rusty as hell.  I wish I had grand kids so that I could make cakes for them, that would be fun!

Image by Mezza - Brice and his cake 23rd May 2012

Off to the North is Bundadgen

Bundagen might be seen as a microcosm of the macrocosm, with all the dramas of the wider world played out on our small stage.

For years and years I have wanted to visit here and when I was younger I wanted to live here but I never knew how you did this.  I should just have driven out there I suppose.  I would have met people no doubt.  Strange how things turn out.  But anyway here we are today at Bundagen Community for lunch with Liz and Atalanta.

The food was delicious and well prepared and everything ran like absolute clock work.  I was very impressed as there was a store that sold amazing breads and lots of organic produce right there so local.  I never knew about this. I feel so blessed that Atalanta asked me although I felt out of place as I felt that Liz didn't need my company. 

The beautiful sun stained glass high window.

She is going through issues and I am still buzzing on Uluru and the most amazing spiritual experiences that I had while I was there.  I so want to tell everyone how amazing it was but I guess they only think of the rock and not what else goes on out there and the beautiful people that are living at the rock.  The stories of these woman are so strong and powerful and healing.  The absolute healing nature of sitting with such resolution to nature and feeling safe was a powerful existence I don't feel around here but out there I did.

Images by Mezza - Bundagen Community Mid North Coast NSW

Venus transit from where we are.

This transit interests me no end.  It occurs on Montana-Star's 16th Birthday.  What a special gift for her this is.  I wonder if she sees it this way.  I smile when I think about it.  I think these are signs for her to remember later on down the track when I am long gone from this earth.

Image from the https://www.facebook.com/sunaeon

Centuries of history razed by the recent Earthquakes in Italy

Tsunami hazard sign (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Not only Italy but also other places such as Japan and there are tsunami warnings in place because of this.  In Afghanistan there is a monstrous flood issue as well.  The planet is talking and people are still not listening.  If a baby talks then so does this earth because it is a hologram.  This earth talks quite loud in fact and I wonder why others cannot hear this.

"The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts." James Joyce

The house was in for it today and a huge spring clean occurred and everything was turned upside down and this has been the thought since I returned home from my trip.

Brice did a great job taking care of the house while I was gone and he even repaired the mysterious marks that occurred in the side of the bed room wall.  Well done to him. 
We are washing mats and curtains and dusting and moving the furniture around to liven up the chi energy in the tiny place and make us feel alive again.  Its a good thing and then on the agenda is the plants and they are getting a new lease on life and a top up or a re -pot if necessary.

Image by Mezza - The sun dawns from the hill in Urunga

“God had to create disco music so I could be born and be successful.” - Donna Summer

Today another great music sensation passed from this earth.  The great Donna Summer passed away at the age of 63.  We will play a song of hers in our radio show this afternoon.  Probably Love to Love you Baby which was a big hit in the day.

Personally I feel very similar to Donna Summer and the way she says that disco was created for her.  Sometimes the supreme creator moves heaven and earth for us and we are precious no matter what we tend to think at times and each of us vibrates symbiotically off of each other.
Changing a thought pattern here affects where I am thinking and that is a fact.  This is the power we have forgotten to access.

Image by Mezza - Dawn in Urunga and the beautiful skies above.

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honoré de Balzac

It was wonderful being here in the grounds of this place with Montana, I think she enjoyed herself.  I have enjoyed going over all of the photographs this week.

Having children is a funny experience on the whole.  We never own them and some of us rear our kids so well that they never ever need us ever again.  Well that is the plan for the way I am to think about how the situation is with me and my kids and really its always a tough call but on we must press and we must never let this situation drag us down to a level that is so low.

Image by Mezza -  Montana at St James Church in Morpeth

Last week I went  on a plane  with Uncle Tom Kelly and Suzie Kelly on a majestic trip to the Rock we all now call ULURU!  All places are places of absolute beauty this is something that is very evident now.  I loved the Anangu people of the Central Desert.

These horses represent so much.  They represent the fact that Brice is a horse in the Chinese Astro charts and he is staying behind to look after the animals.  The image of Nunguu Miirlarl in the background looming over it all symbolising my trip with Uncle Tom Kelly and Suzie Kelly. 

These horses live on Yellow Rock Road which the Kelly farm forms part of. When Uncle Tom was little he lived on the island near the Finger on what we call Yellow Rock Road!  This rock known as the finger  is a yellow colour.  Uncle Tom's family  lived in this area before coming in closer to the township that was now called Urunga. It was called Gilayjal Miirlarl by the aboriginal man and the Yurruun.ga was the North Beach area but white man seemed to like the Urunga word better for here!  I think things like this are important to understand that the white settlers changed the ancient names of places and those names mean really important things in a spiritual sense.



Images by Mezza - Horses on Yellow Rock Road

Just because you don’t drink alcohol does not mean that you are free from addiction.

The Complimentary bottle of wine left in our room for us at ULURU

You could have all of the traits of an addict — the denial, the discomfort with intimacy, the need for unreasonable power and control, the inability to let go, the inner torment, the insecurity masked by grandiosity and so on — without being an alcoholic.
Friel, John; Friel, Linda D. Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families

When we got to Uluru there was a bottle of champagne in the room waiting for us. I would have loved to have drank this but because Suzie didnt want to help me then I never got to drink this.  I am going to get a cheap bottle to rekindle this pleasure though.
Image by Mezza - Killawarra sparkling wine

A very ancient system of numbers was used in the system, which we will call "Gematria."