ONE More Sleep to go!

I remember when it was fifty sleeps,  I think I have hardly slept since then.  Every day I think about going to this place where I am going and everyday I think wow I always wanted to see this so bad.  Finally I am going to Uluru. Finally the place where all the dreaming tracks lead to.  The very special special place that was called Eyres Rock forever in my childhood.  Some say its hard to call something another name. I think that is pussy,  I know!  I had another name and I had to get used to this!  I am so glad I changed my name to my name my mother gave me!

I look at myself and think I hit that myth fair in the face changing my name from Cindy to Mary-Ellen .. which is my correct name.  I changed it back because I woke up in a cold sweat saying help me, I am not vibrating to my correct number and I must change this now.  I was 25 years old when this happened.  So I have been called Cindy for 25 years and Mary-Ellen for 28 years.. 

I am Mary-Ellen Peters, youngest daughter of William Henry Peters and Ellen Katherine Peters (nee Baguley) of Warwick.  Well that is how the birth notice might have read if there wasn't so much going on at the time.  For instance my father being in hospital and being told that he will never ever walk again.  I guess he didn't handle the challenge very well did he?  They broke up and he was a hard hard man!  Everyone who I have ever known said that he was a hard man.

Personally, I don't know.   I really never got to know him at all.  I never lived with him.  I can't  remember ever kissing him or being kissed by him which in itself is sad.  I remember kissing my mummy, but only in later life and as a child I got my mummy's love for four months before she had to go.  That was a special four months.  I must have loved her, I would not sleep and they said horrible things about this.  My poor mummy, if only I had known the truth!  I am so so sad about this and such a lifetime of waste.

Abandoned by both my parents is a hard and bitter pill to swallow no matter which way you look at it or who you are reading this.  I know it was never meant to be like this.  I know my mother didn't want to do this.  I know that she thought it would be ok in the end.  I know she loved me though.  I know because she gave me her mothers name and also her own name.  I feel special!  

I should have called  Montana  this name instead ...Ellen Mary-Ellen.  If I was to follow this tradition it would be that, and that is funny.  So perhaps she will call one of her daughter's Mary and one Ellen in their middle names, or their first.  That would be the pinnacle wouldn't it?  To have someone named after you.  No one would name anything after me and so this is just a fanciful dream.